Category Archives: Beer

Alaskan Moron’s Wildlife Guide

Who doesn’t love BBQ, beers, and a gentle bike ride through nature?

What better way to spend your Saturday than communing with one of Gob’s snuggly creatures and sharing some delicious BBQ.

Cuddles the Love Bear (Source: Flikr, via Wikipedia. Photographer: HBarrison. Reproduced under Creative Commons)

Alaskan Moron’s Wildlife Guide:

1. Drink beers (probably the more the better)

2. Bike ride into wilderness with BBQ in your pocket (or a satchel)

3. Confront bear and offer to share said BBQ

4. Get mauled by bear

Apparently step 5 is getting charged by wildlife officials with illegally feeding animals.

No word on whether this person completed step 6, which is removing yourself from the gene pool via the mauling. This guy is expected to survive.

Edited to add: How did I overlook this totally obvious pun? Don’t baste your BBQ – Maull it! (even if their sauce is thin dreck)

(Source: Wikipedia)

Tagged , , ,

Non-Traditional Legal Fees

Do you speed when driving your car? I fix tickets for friends, family and clients. For that, I get non-traditional (as in non monetary) legal fees.

(NB#1 – Background: I’m not sure where you’re reading this blog. It has a global reach for some reason. But in Missouri, in central USA, when someone gets a moving violation that ticket frequently results in “points” against a driver’s license. Those points accrue and eventually cause insurance rates to rise. This is a pure hypothetical situation: You are speeding, doing 70 in a 60 MPH zone and get a ticket. Officer Friendly gives you a citation with a court address and hearing date. You come to me. I send your ticket and some lawyer-y paperwork to the court requesting that your moving violation be amended to a non-points non-moving violation. In my experience, these requests are usually granted [this is extremely subjective and based only on my actual experience in mid-central-eastern Missouri]. Your speeding is now littering or illegal parking or [my favorite] excessive vehicle noise. That $100 speeding ticket is now a $150 non-moving violation and has $50 court costs. You get zero points and pay the municipality coffers a little extra, money that you would otherwise spend in duplicate to your insurance carrier. I’m talking simple speeding or rolling stop signs here… no DUI, resisting arrest, open container, reckless driving, etc. I don’t handle that nonsense.)

(NB#2 – Disclaimer: I strongly doubt this is necessary, but I’ll be safe: The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. Nothing here is legal advice. Reading this blog post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Submitting a comment or emailing me similarly does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you seek legal advice from a BBQ & Beer blog, you fail at life.)

The Missouri Supreme Court Rule of Professional Conduct 4-1.5 states that my fees must be reasonable for the work performed and that I may accept property in exchange for legal services. My clients and I have come to the understanding that my reasonable non-monetary fee for handling a traffic ticket is beer:

Law school pays off!

Law school pays off!

I’ve been paid all kinds of beer for tickets, but this client did it right. Just this year, I had a modest bar tab paid after some pickup basketball, I was given some Fat Tire by a friend’s adult daughter, and now this bounty of Urban Chestnut. I’ve even accepted a borrowed Keystone Light from an indigent friend client on a night I wasn’t drinking. What can I say… I’m flexible and generous.

Earlier this year I wrote the Terms of Use for a friend’s website. He told me to go Full Snark, so I did. I took a really nice Belgian beer sixer as payment. I had as much fun writing that silliness as I did drinking the beer and telling the story of writing the Terms of Use in exchange for beer! (NB#3 – I have received prior verbal permission from this client to tell this story and link to the TOU on this blog.)

If you’re speeding in STL, you could go to the cesspool of legal services on Craigslist and pay anywhere from $35-$50+ for getting a ticket fixed, or you could call your attorney buddy (not necessarily me) and offer some suds for a shot at a non-points violation.

The bottom line is I hope this particular guy speeds more often because I really enjoy good beer.

Tagged , , ,

Texas Beer Review: Lakewood Brewing Company

Have you got any friends? I’m sure you hang with the neighbor to watch some NFL game, or you play a little poker with the dude in the parish, or perhaps you get a beer after work at happy hour with that jokester from marketing.

You do? Great. I don’t care. I’m talking about Real Friends.

Real Friends read your BBQ & Beer Blog and say, “Hey, I live in Texas and I think that Texas beers are under-represented on your blog (which I enjoy quite a bit). I’m mailing you a large custom sampler of Texas beers in a giant box at my own expense. All I ask in return is that you consume and review those beers.”

Do you have one of those friends? No? Well I do.

Are you loved? I am.

Are you loved? I am.

May sweet Jebus smile down upon you, Andy Axsom. I have known Andy for over 15 years, since we were both students at Rockhurst University in Kansas City, MO. We pledged the same fraternity and co-ran the chapter as president and vice president (he was good cop; I was incompetent cop).

I loved Andy, but was always a little bit concerned about him. He was a big dude who liked to eat fast food and drink beer (my kind of guy), but his metabolism was a little too flummoxed by his caloric intake. One day recently he woke up and realized that if he wanted to improve his way of life and live to be an old man, he was going to lose a shitload of weight through diet and exercise. He’s now a handsome man on is way to full fledged Adonis, and I’m goddamed proud of him.

He blogs about his weight loss and has been on television a few times. I blog about BBQ and beer, and if I’m ever on tv it will be a perp walk or me mooning the local weatherman on location at the pumpkin patch.

Andy moving from large to in charge
(Reposted without permission)

Out of deep respect for both Andy and the Republic of Texas, I’m duty-bound to thoughtfully consume these beers and discuss them in turn. Such is the burden of my hobby.

First in line are two beers from the Lakewood Brewing Company. Lakewood is based in Garland, Texas, which is apparently a part of the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolis. Never been there, but the reasons to visit Dallas just went up +1.

Two samples from Lakewood

Two samples from Lakewood

Andy blessed me with both the Hop Trapp and Temptress. The former is a Belgian-Style IPA (sounds interesting) and the latter is an Imperial Milk Stout (oh yes oh yes).

Pertinent beer information

Pertinent beer information

I’ll review them in turn.

Hop Trapp: Belgian Style IPA

Pouring this beer, I can’t find any fruitiness in the beer’s bouquet. No fruit aroma, just the distinct hop scent of an IPA. I love the color and cloudiness in the glass (the wrong glass… I know).

Lakewood IPA

Lakewood IPA

Only upon sipping this beer did I pick up some exceptionally faint fruit notes in the hops. I could not have told you that this beer was Belgian-inspired if I was blind. Based on taste and texture alone, this is a pure and straightforward IPA.

What I liked was the restrained aftertaste and nearly nonexistent effervescence – this is a very refreshing beer. The bitterness is well-controlled (or that’s what I wrote last night while drinking this and other beers), and I really enjoyed it. This is a great summer beer. Hot deck, bugs buzzing around you, pull this out of a cooler. Nice IPA.

The Temptress: Imperial Milk Stout

I’m a milk stout fan… that’s no secret. I like the smoke, the roast, the chocolate flavors. Let’s see if Lakewood’s stands up to my standards.

Lakewood Milk Stout

Lakewood Milk Stout

The color is great, the head is nice. I love the toasty smell as the glass comes up to my nose. The stout flavor is strong with a nice smoky toasty flavor. It’s smooth over the tongue and brought a surprising hoppiness to the palate. The ABV above 9% means this is another sippin’ beer. I really enjoyed it.

What I liked about these beers is that Lakewood took two straightforward concepts (IPA and Stout) and did them really well. Do I think the IPA was Belgian-inpired? Meh. Was the stout an imperial milk stout? Maybe. They were, though, above average beers for IPAs and stouts. Both were supremely drinkable and very enjoyable.

My recommendation for Lakewood Brewing Company’s Hop Trapp and Temptress: Drink These Beers

Tagged ,

Dingbats Aren’t Just Bud Light Drinkers

Yet another post that has nothing to do with BBQ and is only tangentially related to the substance of beer, though two breweries are involved. Keep scrolling, Mr. Chug-A-Lug or Ms. Brisket Lover. This isn’t the blog entry for you.

When I’m not loading my body with the poisons of alcohol and cholesterol, I pay bills as an Intellectual Property attorney. That means that before continuing, it’s time for the Disclaimer: In case you didn’t already know, nothing here is legal advice. Don’t rely on anything here as legal advice. Remember that seeking legal advice from a BBQ & beer blog = You fail at life.

A friend shared an article on Facebook about a lawsuit filed by fairly well known brewer Magic Hat against relative newcomer West Sixth Brewing Co., out of Lexington, KY. Intrigued by craft breweries in litigation, I clicked. Turns out Magic Hat, owner of the #9 trademark and current applicant for the #9 design registration for their #9 beer, took exception to the West Sixth logo.

Look for yourself.

This is the federal mark that Magic Hat filed with the US Patent & Trademark Office (image from the USPTO TESS database):

#9 is divine

#9 is divine

It doesn’t come in black & white on the shelf. Here is a pic from an early Drink This Beer from this very blog:

Drink this beer

Drink this beer

And, here is the West Sixth logo that caused all the hubbub (image from the currently-overwhelmed by traffic, via Google images):

It's a 6, you dingbat!

It’s a 6, you dingbat!

Factoid of the day: That little eight pointed star is called a dingbat. Frankly, I think it’s an important part of this case for reasons I’ll explain.

Taking the very, very 10,000 foot view on this issue, the case comes down to customer confusion between these two marks. There’s a series of factors involved, but that’s it. Are you confused? Would you ever buy West Sixth thinking you were buying Magic Hat #9?

As for me, the answer is no. Every case is subjective, but I (1) read labels, and (2) like to think that I know at least a little more than the average beer drinker.

More specifically, there are well-known factors that courts use to determine when a trademark is infringed. For guidance, let’s look to Harvard Law, who wouldn’t touch my undergraduate transcript with a ten foot cattle prod:

“The standard is “likelihood of confusion.” To be more specific, the use of a trademark in connection with the sale of a good constitutes infringement if it is likely to cause consumer confusion as to the source of those goods or as to the sponsorship or approval of such goods. In deciding whether consumers are likely to be confused, the courts will typically look to a number of factors, including: (1) the strength of the mark; (2) the proximity of the goods; (3) the similarity of the marks; (4) evidence of actual confusion; (5) the similarity of marketing channels used; (6) the degree of caution exercised by the typical purchaser; (7) the defendant’s intent. Polaroid Corp. v. Polarad Elect. Corp., 287 F.2d 492 (2d Cir.), cert. denied, 368 U.S. 820 (1961).”

In plain English, the Court will evaluate these and other factors to determine if West Sixth is on the hook for infringement liability. Here’s my take on each:

Strength of the Mark – Magic Hat has two trademarks here. The first is the #9, which has been around so long that it’s literally considered incontestable, and for which Magic Hat has a federal registration. The second is the #9 design shown above, minus the color scheme (which is part of the trade dress, not necessarily the trademark… just stick with me here). The second one is merely a registration but has been on file for a few years and I consider it to be a logo that I know on sight. I’d award this point to Magic Hat. It’s not the Budweiser or High Life logo, but it’s a fairly well known mark in its own right.

Proximity of the Goods – Both are beers, both available in Kentucky (the locale of the Federal District Court where this case was filed). Easily a point for Magic Hat.

Similarity of the Marks – A 6 is not necessarily a 9; My kindergarten-aged daughter can tell you that. But, 180 degrees is all that separates the two, and they appear to be in similar if not the same font. The Magic Hat mark has much more in the way of design elements, and the sizing / location of the numbers with respect to the overall logo isn’t the same. There’s also no # in the West Sixth mark. With only these facts I’d be inclined to lean towards West Sixth.

Here is my hangup: The Dingbat. I can’t imagine that many beers have this unique eight point star shape on their beer label. Indeed, none come to mind. It’s right there in the loop of the 9 and next to the upper half of the 6. Yes, the eight points on #9 seem similar, as opposed to the elongated N, S, E & W points on the 6, but it seems like a pretty wild coincidence that you’d have this shape in both labels. I think there’s a chance that a reasonable judge or perhaps jury might award this point to Magic Hat as well. This is very hard to predict.

Evidence of Actual Confusion – I can’t imagine there’s any. West Sixth is a purely local beer, and any Kentucky buyer isn’t going to pick up West Sixth on accident while looking for Magic Hat. We might have a case of reverse confusion, however, where a KY buyer purchases #9 on accident. This one is probably awarded to West Sixth, and is a draw at worst for them.

Similarity of Marketing Channels Used – I can’t comment on this except that the lawsuit alleges that the same distributors may be shuffling this beer around stores. That means they could be on the same shelves in the same parts of the beer aisles at the local grocer. Point to Magic Hat.

Degree of Caution Exercised by Typical Purchaser – This could turn into a powerful point for West Sixth. What is a typical purchaser? If you believe that the typical beer buyer is a moron, you’d be right. Bud Light and other mass-produced scuzbrew dominates both the bestselling beer list as well as the worst beers in the world list. The degree of caution is limited by (1) what’s on sale, (2) what’s on the aisle end cap and saves me some extra walkin’, and (3) what gets me good n’ drunk?

But what about the typical craft beer buyer? That guy who is in the minority of beer buyers who is looking specifically for hand-crafted beer, someone who eschews the watery dreck of Super Bowl ads… what is his level of caution? I’d say it’s pretty high. That guy, the guy in Kentucky who is looking for local craft beer will not pick up Magic Hat #9 on accident. He or she knows brands, knows beer styles, understands hops, can tell you what IPA stands for. That customer is not going to be confused, and that’s ultimately what would I emphasize if I were West Sixth’s counsel in this case. The degree of caution for a typical craft beer purchaser is very high. Point to West Sixth because I’m proud of that distinction.

Defendant’s Intent – I am inclined to believe that West Sixth, a local brewer in Kentucky wasn’t looking to trade off the goodwill of a far more established New England brewer. Did the graphic design guy who did their logo draw inspiration from #9? Maybe, but who can say. I give this one to West Sixth.

CONCLUSION – I’m not a judge and I’ve never been on a TM jury. That Polaroid case may not even be good law anymore. Hell, I’m drinking beer right now (FYI, O’Fallon Kite Tail)! I can tell you this case passes the smile test and Magic Hat may have tried to resolve this without litigation. To file this case, they had to come down to Kentucky. They are going to get some bad press from craft beer lovers, as well as people who look at the logos and think they look nothing alike. This isn’t quite at the scale of Budějovický Budvar vs. Anheuser-Busch (now AB/InBev), but it’s still a relevant dispute in my areas of expertise (IP & Beer).

I’m going to barely side with West Sixth because I don’t see (and can’t imagine) any actual confusion has taken place. I also believe that the craft beer drinker is a man or woman of discriminating tastes who knows what he or she is buying. Litigation is a total crapshoot, so this could turn out totally differently.

(Note to nitpicking lawyers reading this: Yes, I know there is a trade dress claim, state claims, etc. My readership is barely literate and probably came here trying to learn about 55 gallon drum smokers, parboiling ribs, or some other nonsense. This is over-simple, and probably not 100% accurate. Thanks in advance for being kind if you choose to comment.)

My final thought on this is that, even though being sued sucks and is expensive, I have a feeling that this is going to be one of the best things to ever happen to West Sixth. I had never heard of them until today, and I imagine the same can be said for thousands of others who read this or a similar article. This isn’t bad press, it’s a mountain of sympathy press that can be spun as the big out of town brewery coming into Kentucky to push around a little guy… a little guy who sells beer you may want to try.

Updated May 22, 2013: Although I had seen the social media campaign yesterday from West Sixth, only today I came across Magic Hat’s response (other than the lawsuit, which is a pretty powerful response in and of itself), via Magic Hat’s Twitter account. I’m posting both in the interest of fairness. I’ll even link to the Reddit thread.

Updated (Again!) May 22, 2013: The plot thickens! West Sixth isn’t backing down and fired back at Magic Hat. This has gone from interesting to compelling. I’m curious what’s next.

Tagged , , ,

I Eat Salads

If the title of this post isn’t a giveaway, I like greens mixed with stuff and dressing. While at Dave & Busters for a business lunch, I saw the ridiculously-named salad: The Lawnmower.

Note the fork for scale

Note the fork for scale

The waiter told us that he’d only seen two people eat the entire monstrosity. After me, it was three.

Why post this salad nonsense on my BBQ & Beer blog? I mentioned that I had eaten the largest single-serving salad I’d ever seen and was ridiculed by friends. They dared me to post and here we are. It was friggin’ delicious.

After I got home, I cracked open an impulse beer from a favorite brewery: Le Freak by Green Flash. It was amazing, and might have earned a spot in my beer Top 20 list.

C'est chic! (Sorry, Christopher)

C’est chic! (Sorry, Christopher)

Coming in over 9% ABV, this Big Beer packed a whallop, but it was very tasty and drinkable. Worth another buy for sure.

Tagged , , ,

Drink This Beer: 4 Hands Chocolate Milk Stout

What surprise awaited me at my in-laws’ in their garage fridge but an intriguing Big Beer that some careless brother-in-law had left behind. Behold the 4 Hands Chocolate Milk Stout.



As a lover of chocolate milk and beer I didn’t pay for, what was there to lose? Time to crack this bossie and pour.

Not my glassware

Not my glassware

The smell of the beer in the bottle is pure stout without much of a hint of chocolate. When poured into the rising body of the beer, I was met with a thick lustrous head. As the beer breathed, the head settled into a thicker-than-Guiness landscape of froth.

Looking at the beer, it’s 100% non-translucent. The rich dark color shows it’s brownness only at the edges of the curvature of the bottom of the beer glass. The aroma once poured has traveled from stout to chocolatey stout.

Drinking this beer, it’s kind of luxurious. There’s a definite chocolate finish, but it’s purely dark chocolate with zero sweetness. Rather than competing with it, the chocolate flavors complement the strong toasted malt stout flavors.

Texturally, I’m really wowed. There’s almost a true milky sensation of the beer rolling around in the back of my mouth, though it’s definitely a beer. At a mere 5.5%, I could easily handle the Big Beer.

Perfect pairing

Perfect pairing

Unfortunately the beer doesn’t suggest pairing with ice cream, except perhaps chocolate ice cream? Could this be the perfect ice cream float beer? (Unfortunately my in-laws had no ice cream but for some rainbow sherbert… that would have been disgusting.) I was between meals, so no beef either.

How about pairing it with a Cardinals shellacking of the Brewers?

Pow. Down goes Bernie!

Pow. Down goes Bernie!

Super smooth. Easy to drink. Great flavors that are well-balanced. Nice job.

My applause to the people at 4 Hands. They know what they’re doing in dessert beers for sure. I’m always looking for more local beers, and 4 Hands is on my radar going forward. My recommendation for this decadent dessert of a brew: Drink This Beer

Tagged , ,

Drink This Super Cheap Beer: Simpler Times

Sometimes cheap beer is nothing more than pale effluvia water, minimally-effervescent and even less flavorful. In fact, most of the uber-cheap swill at the short end of the beer aisle that’s typically loved by hobos and fraternity boys is generally unsuitable for human consumption. Clever marketing has convinced America that some bottled dreck (looking at you, Bud Light) is worthy of some serious coin. Let’s talk instead about an exception to those rules: Simpler Times.

Disclaimer: Can not actually cross-stitched

Disclaimer: Can not actually cross-stitched

Yes, I remember simpler times. I was a broke-as-shit college student who squandered his work study checks down at the liquor store on horrific gutter beer. Why? Because, dammit, that was cheap. Six really amazing beers for $8, or thirty deplorable beers for $14. Simple math for simpler times.

Thanks to the miracle that’s Trader Joe’s, I can relive those simpler times with… (wait for it) Simpler Times. Yes, at a mere $3.49 per sixer, you too can reminisce about your impoverished days (or continue to live in your current destitution) and enjoy a pretty decent beer.

Like many other similarly-budget-conscious beers, this one is pale yellow and exceptionally fizzy when poured. Once poured, all but minimal effervescence remains. It’s as if the carbonation can’t wait to get the hell out of this budget beer.

Using the countertop to add color is deceiving. It's far paler.

Using the countertop to add color is deceiving. It’s far paler.

Instead of a biting acidity or just plain blandness, however, I found this beer to have a mild, smooth, mellow flavor. It wasn’t bad… kind of, uh, good. It was strange and unexpected.

Having sampled a few (at 6.2% ABV, by the way) it tastes better out of an unfrozen beer glass than it does the can. I actually chose the Lager because of it’s higher ABV. The Pilsner is sub-5%, so why even bother with empty calories if you can’t even get to an altered state.

Yes, it smells like the floor of the fraternity house basement the morning after the initiation stag party, but it doesn’t have a nasty aftertaste. I taste cheap-o beer, but probably one of the best cheap-o beers money can buy. I’m shocked and impressed. Honestly, I thought this would be some kind of self-flagellation in the name of beer reviews, but I kind of enjoyed it and I wasn’t even cutting the grass or drafting a fantasy baseball team. I was sitting on my butt watching Seinfeld (the Doodle episode, to be specific).

Cover of GQ

Cover of GQ

So, if you’re short on money and live near a Trader Joe’s, then perhaps you should take yourself back to Simpler Times. I encourage your impoverished ass to: Drink This Beer.


Drink This Beer: Kirkwood Station 51

No, I’m not dead. A month and a half absence from posting about beer and pork doesn’t necessarily speak to my doom… I’ve just been busy. How about a beer review?

What with all the rush to file before the America Invents Act takes effect, I’ve hardly had time to snag some new beer. Today’s brief detour to the new beer section at Friar Tuck’s redmediated that problem. After my successful beer flight at Kirkwood Station Brewery, I was pleased (if not a little surprised) to see Kirkwood Station 51.

KS51 A

Surrounded by (inanimate) admiring onlookers


What exactly is a “wine barrel aged Belgian style saison with Brettanomyces ale aged in wine barrels” besides hyper-descriptive? I’m familiar with Belgian style saison beers, and I can make an educated guess about wine barrel aging (even if they strangely printed it twice on the same label). But… Brettanomyces?

Wikipedia tells me that Brettanomyces is a common wine yeast, often viewed as a contaminant in beer unless you are talking about certain Belgian or Lambic style beers. I learned something today!

Atop the beer is a neat wax cap, a la Maker’s Mark, adding a little style to the beer. Cool!

This shouldn't be a challenge, right?

This shouldn’t be a challenge, right?

(several minutes later…) So it took a razor blade and a putty knife to get this wax off the bottle. I’m not joking. Put in a pull tab or something fellas. I shouldn’t be risking yet another finger injury just trying to open a beer. It went from neato to huge hassle in 10 seconds.

Once I FINALLY opened the damned beer, I had moved from optimistic and thirsty to slightly annoyed and thirsty. Pouring the beer, it sure smells good. Very fruity and flowery smell (perhaps due to the Brett yeast?). At 8.5% ABV and aromatic, this is yet another one of them sippin’ beers.

Okay so the kid has too many Legos

Okay so the kid has too many Legos

The first sip was extremely flavorful. I was taken aback by the overwhelming sweetness, sourness, and slight bitterness all mingled together. Sure, my palate was messed up from a few thousand calories of Girl Scout cookies and some lesser beers that I had consumed within the past hour, but this would have been surprising to anyone at any level of palate cleanliness.

As the sips progressed, I began to appreciate the layers in this beer. Minimal effervescence, wonderful cloudy amber color. It’s been reviewed as good-but-perhaps-not-great during its brief release time. Really a persistently strong Belgian flavor that erred on the sour side, though I’m not typically a sour beer fan.

Despite the need for a hacksaw to remove the superfluous wax ornamentation and the extremely troubling double mention of wine barrel aging in the beer label description, I found that the overall character and flavor of the beer made up for the perhaps-too-strong bite that accompanied the early sips. I’d buy it again, and that’s a good first step.

My recommendation for Kirkwood Station 51 is Drink This Beer.


Beer Drinking Tip

Pro Tip for anyone interested in downing one of these:

Hey, that looks good! What could go wrong?

Hey, that looks good! What could go wrong?

Don’t use one of these thingys to open the Stella:

For beans, tomatoes, and Chef Boyardee ONLY!

For beans, tomatoes, and Chef Boyardee ONLY!

Or else you will wind up with the following handy skin-removal kit:

Not suitable for rapid, violent application to the finger.

Not suitable for rapid, violent application to the finger.

The end result is the shearing of a nearly dime-sized, quite deep of a section of epidermis. It will bleed profusely and soak through any gauze you might have in your house, besides stinging like a MFer. Fail, indeed:


OW… Not clotted after two hours!

There was discomfort involved. This wasn’t a stitches kind of injury, for there was nothing to stitch. Instead, bleeding all over the damned place, with the nearby Urgent Care closed for the night, I went to the hospital ER like a fool.

What a sensible, attractive bandage job.

What a sensible, attractive bandage job.

After nearly three hours and a $150 copay, Dr. Friendly applied something called Hyper-Stinging Discomfort Mesh and wrapped up my hand so that it looks like I had flipped off the wrong angry biker on the highway.

Now I get to wear this in the shower:

Totally normal.

Totally normal.

Bonus Tip:

If you want to be ridiculed the entire trip for your failure to successfully negotiate the Stella Artios bottle cap, have this guy drive you to the hospital:

Not sympathetic to clumsy stupidity

Not sympathetic to clumsy stupidity

Drink These Beers: Oskar Blues Brewery

True, my quest to sample and write about good beers is both noble and important. The magnanimity can be overwhelming, but I do my best.

A rare roadblock has been overcome, and I’m thrilled to share the fruits of my labor: Oskar Blues Brewery. Yes, this is a very special edition of Drink This Beer; Not one, not two, but three spectacular beers from a single brewery.

First, though, a little back story:

In the summer of 2010, the family took a trip to suburban Atlanta, where I first came across Dale’s Pale Ale.

A very positive first impression

Having a lust for Pale Ales, it was an easy buy. Impressive from the start, with rich ale flavors and a wonderful hop finish. Who knew something so good came in a can? I couldn’t find it in St. Louis with minimal effort, but no matter – many other beers to try.

Fast forward to August 2012 and our biennial extended family vacation in the Florida panhandle. Glass bottles are a no-no on the beach, so how fortunate was I to find a glut of Dale’s in the overpriced beer bodega attached to the Winn-Dixie! Many were drank and good times were had.

Upon my return to St. Louis, I talked with the local beer store clerk who had some unfortunate news for me: Oskar Blues beer is not available in STL. I’m no beer distributor expert, but that’s goddamned silly. Saint Louis is practically on the way from Colorado to freaking Atlanta and Florida. Can’t they drop off a few cases? I promise to buy some.

So I went to the Oskar Blues website and emailed both the owner (Dale himself) and the sales director with just that sentiment:

Help me out here… I promise to buy a few six packs a month of this fine beer with an epic national reputation if you can just drop off a skid or two locally. I will avidly spread the word if you can distribute here. If you already distribute here, please let me know where I can go to buy some quality canned beer. Thanks!

They actually responded:

Thanks for reaching out! Unfortunately they are right, we still have not started distribution to St. Louis but it is on our list! We have started the process of opening a new brewery in North Carolina and this will help with our distribution on the east coast allowing us to expand to new markets! We wish we could, but we can’t ship beer from our brewery. … Thanks for your support and stayed tuned for Dale’s Pale Ale in St. Louis!

No lie, either. The website says I’m S.O.L. (it’s hard to read without clicking, but it says no Oskar Blues within 100 miles of STL):

Too bad, so sad. Times are tough in ABInBev country.

What’s a beer drinker to do? Then, just this past weekend, we drove to a family funeral in northeast suburban Cincinnati. On the eve of the funeral mass, I planned to knock a few back and watch Sunday Night Football. Then I saw this in the local beer and liquor store:

What great fortune!

New to Cincinnati but known and elusive to me. I bought three six packs to bring home: Dale’s Pale Ale, Mama’s Little Yella Pils, and Old Chub Scotch Ale. I’ll review each in turn.

Mama’s Little Yella Pils:

Briefly, I know that these are canned beers. I’ve only ever drank them from a can. But, for the sake of showing the full beer experience, I poured one of each into an non-frosty mug to understand the color, effervescence, and flavor more completely.

Nothing crushes bills and files like cold beer in a mug

As you can (kind of) see from the photo, Mama’s Little Yella Pils is an opaque yellow with a hint of brown, having a minimal head. It’s a crisp, refreshing beer with a hearty malt flavor and very mild hop/grain aftertaste. One of the more refreshing pilsners I’ve ever had. The grain flavors are full and smooth, and the 5.3% ABV is right in line with pilsners.

Why import some green bottle nonsense from Europe when you can get something better here? I consider myself a pilsner fan, but typically only the ubiquitous imports – Stella, Heineken, Amstel, etc. This, however, is superior to all of them.

Delicious, drinkable beer. As a BBQ man, I can see a cooler full of these resting comfortably next to some chicken wings and ribs on the grill.
Old Chub Scotch Ale:

Scotch Ales have been hit or miss for me. Each of Schlafly, McEwan’s, Sam Adams are good in their own rights, but I don’t reach for them amongst other beer styles. Snagging some Old Chub Scotch Ale is a little bit of a reach for me.

Holding down the penske file

Right away the deep brown color and thick head jump out of the can with the very mild Scotch Ale aromas. Compared to the aforementioned Scotch Ales, Old Chub has a restrained aroma, though the flavors are deep and strong. Whatever grain they use provides a strong smokiness and super-subtle caramel flavor, without any noticeable sweetness. I can’t place the extremely satisfying aftertaste, but it coats and lingers on the top of my palate and the back of my tongue.

I’m both pleasantly surprised and kind of impressed how much I enjoy this beer. Better take it easy, though – 8% ABV. I honestly didn’t expect this beer to be this good. Wow.

Dale’s Pale Ale:

My white whale Dale; The Oskar Blues beer that started my journey to this blog post.

Among the many benefits of a home office – the paperweights get interesting late in the afternoon

Ten years of making great beers. I’m excited to open a can of this in Missouri. Did I break some interstate commerce law or violate a union contract importing this stuff across a few state lines? Who cares. Time to drink.

The color is amber but with an orangeish hue, with a frothy, thick foam head that clings to the edges of the glass. I got a little sloppy with my pour.

Classic hop aroma, something a little heavy-handed for a pale ale instead of an APA or IPA. Really, the most predominant note is the hops. They are present in a big way, but not overwhelming. It tastes like literally adding one more hop cone makes this an IPA. It’s a remarkably refreshing beer that I have enjoyed on the beach and at pork-laden BBQs. A canned beer for people who like good bottled beer. A pale ale for people who prefer IPAs.

This was a wonderful beer drinking experience that will continue into the evening. I doubt many remain tomorrow.

Unfortunately it seems that my next chance to experience Oskar Blues will be some kind of road trip, but, until that time, I will recommend that you Drink These Beers.

%d bloggers like this: