Do you speed when driving your car? I fix tickets for friends, family and clients. For that, I get non-traditional (as in non monetary) legal fees.
(NB#1 – Background: I’m not sure where you’re reading this blog. It has a global reach for some reason. But in Missouri, in central USA, when someone gets a moving violation that ticket frequently results in “points” against a driver’s license. Those points accrue and eventually cause insurance rates to rise. This is a pure hypothetical situation: You are speeding, doing 70 in a 60 MPH zone and get a ticket. Officer Friendly gives you a citation with a court address and hearing date. You come to me. I send your ticket and some lawyer-y paperwork to the court requesting that your moving violation be amended to a non-points non-moving violation. In my experience, these requests are usually granted [this is extremely subjective and based only on my actual experience in mid-central-eastern Missouri]. Your speeding is now littering or illegal parking or [my favorite] excessive vehicle noise. That $100 speeding ticket is now a $150 non-moving violation and has $50 court costs. You get zero points and pay the municipality coffers a little extra, money that you would otherwise spend in duplicate to your insurance carrier. I’m talking simple speeding or rolling stop signs here… no DUI, resisting arrest, open container, reckless driving, etc. I don’t handle that nonsense.)
(NB#2 – Disclaimer: I strongly doubt this is necessary, but I’ll be safe: The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements. Nothing here is legal advice. Reading this blog post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Submitting a comment or emailing me similarly does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you seek legal advice from a BBQ & Beer blog, you fail at life.)
The Missouri Supreme Court Rule of Professional Conduct 4-1.5 states that my fees must be reasonable for the work performed and that I may accept property in exchange for legal services. My clients and I have come to the understanding that my reasonable non-monetary fee for handling a traffic ticket is beer:
Law school pays off!
I’ve been paid all kinds of beer for tickets, but this client did it right. Just this year, I had a modest bar tab paid after some pickup basketball, I was given some Fat Tire by a friend’s adult daughter, and now this bounty of Urban Chestnut. I’ve even accepted a borrowed Keystone Light from an indigent friend client on a night I wasn’t drinking. What can I say… I’m flexible and generous.
Earlier this year I wrote the Terms of Use for a friend’s website. He told me to go Full Snark, so I did. I took a really nice Belgian beer sixer as payment. I had as much fun writing that silliness as I did drinking the beer and telling the story of writing the Terms of Use in exchange for beer! (NB#3 – I have received prior verbal permission from this client to tell this story and link to the TOU on this blog.)
If you’re speeding in STL, you could go to the cesspool of legal services on Craigslist and pay anywhere from $35-$50+ for getting a ticket fixed, or you could call your attorney buddy (not necessarily me) and offer some suds for a shot at a non-points violation.
The bottom line is I hope this particular guy speeds more often because I really enjoy good beer.
simpson bbq 