Monthly Archives: December 2012

Drink This Beer, WTF Edition: Ghost Face Killah

Yet another very special edition of Drink This Beer is upon us. I’m inspired to abuse my stomach lining with beer made with Ghost Chilies: Ghost Face Killah.

I have no idea if the Wu Tang Clan was paid any royalties for the naming rights by Twisted Pine Brewing out of Boulder, CO. In fact, I have no idea why anyone would get the idea to make a beer from “Anaheim, Fresno, Jalapeno, Serrano, Habanero and Bhut Jolokia – Otherwise known as the Ghost Pepper”. The logic of it escapes me. Nonetheless, I bought some.

You, too, can have a sophisticated beer photo studio with an iPhone and some printer paper

You, too, can have a sophisticated beer photo studio with an iPhone and some printer paper

First and foremost, the initial smell is wild. Spicy spicy spicy, but not burning your nostrils. When you normally sniff a super-spicy dish, it is almost always hot. This is a cold beer, so no nostril sensation other than spice flavor… not spicy feeling. It’s difficult to articulate.

Pouring the beer is also a little unique. For me, pouring it into a room temperature glass beer stein, the beer gave off a powerfully effervescent head that dissipated quickly. As that head fizzed away, that’s when the spiciness went to my eyes. It bubbled aggressively in the glass, easily visible with it’s slightly opaque yellow hue.

Do not let Ghost Face Killah get near your eyes, nose, or genitals. Pregnant and nursing women should not handle Ghost Face Killah. Do not taunt Ghost Face Killah.

Do not let Ghost Face Killah get near your eyes, nose, or genitals. Pregnant and nursing women should not handle Ghost Face Killah. Do not taunt Ghost Face Killah.

Sweet Jebus, don’t go in close for a sniff. The active bubbling will send some beer into your nose, clear your sinus, and maybe even water your eyes a little. Yowza.

I don’t know why I wasn’t prepared for it, but the first sip was a literal eye-opener. Surprising spice. You won’t notice the IBU of 10 or ABV of 5%. You will notice only one thing – some pain.

For fire beer, it had a surprisingly interesting flavor. Yes, you taste the chilies. But, you can also get a little malt flavor. Strong spice aftertaste, like you chugged some hot salsa, but without the tomato carrier.

And, damn, don’t gulp it. Burning throat! It takes some effort, but you can drink a whole 12 oz beer in one sitting. Your stomach will be messed up, but you can do it. Halfway through my GFK, I needed a chaser of some O’Dell Easy Street Wheat (a wonderful brew) to soothe my abused palate.

Being so effervescent and spicy, any belches are hell. Be warned.

How does it taste, Ralph? Good?

How does it taste, Ralph? Good?

My father, he of the Iron Stomach, was the only person who “really liked” the beer. Dad asked me to bring over any other GFKs and leave them at his house. I guess you have a strong stomach if you’re a lifelong Cubs fan! Hi-yo!

I checked Wikipedia for some more information on Naga Bhut Jolokia. Yes, it has been weaponized! (I wonder if this violates the Geneva Convention.) Yes, they smear it on fence posts in India to keep wild elephants away. If these peppers keep Colonel Hathi from marching though your town, should you really be ingesting them?

Anyway, if you are feeling adventurous and want to try this novelty beer that pairs with either a chaser beer, pepto, or ice cream, then: Drink This Beer At Your Own Peril

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Drink These Beers: Happy Holidays 2012

Despite my exceptionally high workload right now, I’ve found time to drink some superior beers, though not the time to blog about each individually. Needless to say, you should drink each of these beers.

In no particular order:

2nd Shift Hibiscus Wit:

Thank you, law firm!

Thank you, law firm!

A local law firm sent me a gift basket, and this beer was among the goodies. Very light and flowery aroma with an extremely satisfying flavor and finish. I drank this watching Star Trek IV while my wife was out Christmas shopping.

Leffe Blond:

Monks know their beer

Monks know their beer

After being skunked out of some Westy XII, I have been on a little bit of a consolatory Belgian beer kick. Leffe Blond is a very balanced, restrained Belgian abbey ale with great flavor, color, taste. Easy to drink, but each sip is quite enjoyable. I’ve been drinking these… often.

Pike County Pale Ale:

Liquid PCP

Liquid PCP

Pike County in northeastern Missouri is known for… well, I have no idea. I have a friend from Louisiana, MO, but can’t otherwise tell you anything else about the region. But apparently they make a damned good beer: Pike County Ale, by the Bat Creek Brewery.

This was an impulse buy, but well worth the try. Rich flavors and color, minimal head, smooth drinking, restrained hoppiness. Seriously worth a repeat purchase. Drank this while watching a little college basketball and eating pizza – wonderfully paired.

Schlafly 21st Anniversary Single Malt Scottish Ale:

Already 21 years?!

Already 21 years?!

If you believe local beer bloggers, this is a hard-to-find beer, so I bought several. It’s taken some effort and many samplings, but I am coming around to Scottish Ales – this is a good one.

No, I didn’t drink it out of a tulip glass or snifter. Maybe I’ll get a few more bottles and give it a try in the right glassware.

You really pick up on the whiskey flavors, the slight smokiness of the barrels came through. Rich, slightly cloudy color, minimal hop notes. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the people sharing the beer with me pointed me in the right direction – strong peat flavors accompany the smooth tongue sensation. Really good beer.

Woodcut No. 6:

Like drinking a log?

Like drinking a log?

The other half of the aforementioned law firm beer gift basket was the Woodcut No. 6 from the Odell Brewing Company.

Hyperpowerful wood flavors. The color is very deep and cloudy brown, with a lively head. The aroma – strong. Taste – strong as hell. My wife sipped it and grimaced. This is a sippin’ beer. I sipped it whilst my fantasy football team shat the bed in the semifinals (damn you Victor Cruz!).

Merry Christmas

From Simpson BBQ, hopefully you had a wonderful Christmas or whatever you celebrate by drinking beers and eating hearty meals with friends and family. Robo-Dino-Santa sends his kind regards, next to a palm tree, atop my parents’ front door:

All kinds of blasphemy here

All kinds of blasphemy here

To steal a line from The Simpsons, Jesus must be spinning in his grave.

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Beer Drinking Tip

Pro Tip for anyone interested in downing one of these:

Hey, that looks good! What could go wrong?

Hey, that looks good! What could go wrong?

Don’t use one of these thingys to open the Stella:

For beans, tomatoes, and Chef Boyardee ONLY!

For beans, tomatoes, and Chef Boyardee ONLY!

Or else you will wind up with the following handy skin-removal kit:

Not suitable for rapid, violent application to the finger.

Not suitable for rapid, violent application to the finger.

The end result is the shearing of a nearly dime-sized, quite deep of a section of epidermis. It will bleed profusely and soak through any gauze you might have in your house, besides stinging like a MFer. Fail, indeed:

OW

OW… Not clotted after two hours!

There was discomfort involved. This wasn’t a stitches kind of injury, for there was nothing to stitch. Instead, bleeding all over the damned place, with the nearby Urgent Care closed for the night, I went to the hospital ER like a fool.

What a sensible, attractive bandage job.

What a sensible, attractive bandage job.

After nearly three hours and a $150 copay, Dr. Friendly applied something called Hyper-Stinging Discomfort Mesh and wrapped up my hand so that it looks like I had flipped off the wrong angry biker on the highway.

Now I get to wear this in the shower:

Totally normal.

Totally normal.

Bonus Tip:

If you want to be ridiculed the entire trip for your failure to successfully negotiate the Stella Artios bottle cap, have this guy drive you to the hospital:

Not sympathetic to clumsy stupidity

Not sympathetic to clumsy stupidity

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