simpson bbq

Let me quote my lovely wife: “If you are pouring out a beer, it has to be a really bad beer.” I poured out my Lobster Lovers Beer.

A few weeks ago, I was perusing the Friar Tuck beer cooler and saw a provocative beer label of a massive lobster covering up the backside of a nude woman. Reading the title of the beer, I thought, “Yes, I do love lobster” and picked up the bottle. Hey, a robust 9.5% ABV? Things continue to look up. Plus, the price was right… I made the purchase.

Out came the frosty mug and in went the brew.

Bad beer

It didn’t have any head at all as I poured, and I tried some aggressive pour to get some froth. Nothing.

The smell was kind of sour, unfortunately indicative of the eventual aftertaste.

First, I’ve never heard of Rinkuškiai Alaus Darykloje, the makers of this beer. Second, no one seems to have reviewed this beer very highly. Third, I won’t be buying Lithuanian beers just based on labels anymore.

I took a sip and it was just biting and metallic and sour. Not inviting, not refreshing. Just… blech. Perhaps it was the interaction of the kids’ Halloween candy mixing with the beer.

I cleared my palate and took another sip. Yucko. Kind of a headache-inducing foulness. I am overwhelmed by the unpleasantness of this beer. Bad beers are best cold, and I put this one in a frosty mug.

There’s a rotten fruit / chemistry lab set flavor paired with a spoiled milk aroma. I made it through four big sips and had to pour it down the drain. This might be one of the worst beers I’ve ever had in my life. Putrid. Repellent. Acrid. Feculant. Garbage.

And I love both lobster and beer. I can’t imagine why you would drink this with lobster. You need, in my opinion, a crisp and refreshing beer with lobster. A lager or pale ale, but not a barely effervescent high-alcohol alchemic witches’ brew of scuz in a bottle.

If Captain Hadley had given this beer to the prisoners after tarring the roof of that prison building, Andy Dufresne and his peers would have had a good case for cruel and unusual punishment.

My recommendation for Lobster Lovers Beer is: Under no circumstances should you drink this beer.