Why, yes, I do hate KU. Why do you ask?

I guess St. Mary’s, as a No. 7 seed, is probably a little too highly ranked to beat KU this season. Usually it’s a double-digit B-school. I see a #14 Belmont creeping up there in the bracket. Hmmm….

My disdain for KU is strong, rooted in four years of college in Kansas City, Missouri. I met many KU fans and visited the school several times, each event reinforcing my prejudice.

I fondly recall 2010. I was participating in a fantasy baseball draft… I was dared to drink a High Life per round. (I finished in last place that season.) After several Buttermaker Boilermakers* I made my way to the parish trivia night where I was completely useless. News of Northern Iowa’s dismantling of #1 overall Kansas reached the gymnasium as we pulled up to trivia night. The place went berserk. The one honk in KU gear was ridiculed all night.

I also very fondly recall 2005, when Bucknell beat Kansas. I was sitting in a hotel room in Chicago crushing Budweiser and Jim Beam with my brother after a long day of patent bar exam preparation. The weight of the idiotic-at-the-time, but smart-in-hindsight Mark McGwire Congressional testimony hung high over my head. Only another humiliating defeat by KU at the hands of a woefully inferior opponent could bring glee back into my life.

Yes, I wept with joy as friggin’ Virginia Commonwealth University crushed KU in the Elite Eight last year. The image of that jackhole in the jayhawk hat crying his pathetic eyes out gets me all excited. Whenever I feel down, I think of that dude.

Bwahahahahahahahaaaa!!!

In fact, the image of Todd Reesing with that massive clump of grass stuck in his helmet during a Mizzou-Kansas beating in 2007 just gets me all fired up. Despite KU’s pathetic strength of schedule and failure to win it’s division, it still went to the Orange Bowl, where it beat a craparoo V. Tech. team. Good for them, but this image lingers.

Undeserved Orange Bowl Participant #1

I have no idea what I was doing when Bradley took down KU in 2006. Regardless, it brought me joy. Deep, intimate joy.

Some people think that I am some kind of Mizzou zealot. Nothing could be further from the truth. I like Mizzou as a taxpayer and proud resident of the state of Missouri. I am also a Billiken fan, having spent thousands and thousands of dollars on a legal education at that fine institution. So maybe The Outlaw Josey Wales is one of my all time favorite movies – pure coincidence.

I just hate KU. Nothing wrong with that. It’s only natural. I’m in the vast majority here. I am just waiting for the Blue Squab to suffer it’s nearly annual defeat to a woefully inferior opponent. This year, my brackets say that opponent is St. Mary’s. Godspeed.

* Buttermaker Boilermaker: Right out of the Bad News Bears, crack and pour out 1/4 of a Budweiser can, then replace the dismissed beer with Jim Beam. Consume, then coach children at baseball. It’s a poor fantasy draft elixir.

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